TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
