Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
