Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
