yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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