it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
