guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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