I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
