I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
