This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your cock deserves a montage
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
