i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize