just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
