okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
