Got a toothbrush?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
