literally had 100 drinks last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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