We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
