So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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