I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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