Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize