It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
