i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
