Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize