whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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