Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize