I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't deserve a penis
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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