Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
time to smoke my breakfast
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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