Cold hands, warm shart.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
