in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
