I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
