we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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