Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Why did my mother make you get naked?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I did not marry a roomba.
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