his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
