Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
