Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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