Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
