I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
