what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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