naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
