I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
