wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my being single is dangerous.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
