first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize