just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
