i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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