u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
