Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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