tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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