Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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