oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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