I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
