You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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