so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
