i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
