You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
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