if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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