Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
