Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
