I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
