i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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