Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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