I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
