Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
