I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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