i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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