Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
