put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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